For · it · takes · two · to · tango · , · not · three

boy oh boy has it been long since i last touched this space.
I feel so detached from the online world recently.
It's the ten weeks break, yet i've been going to school EVERY SINGLE DAY - workshops, meetings, IG(interest group) commitment.
Even yesterday's Zouk Party Rendezvous '08!
Fucking anal organisers, but everything was sucha experience. Think of screening people(hahaha when i'm younger than hlaf the crowd), having access to backstage, everywhere else, meeting International models, finally realising  not all RP's Modern Dancers are a bunch of bimbos, basically having a touch of everything.
Finally having a drink & let loose once everything ended.
Thank god this coming week i'm free, except for tuesday whereby i've an IG photoshoot.
I'm ambivalent about all this, cause i'm unsure how its gonna turn out, plus there are so many X-factor girls out there. 
I should be honoured, no?

Digressing off, I refuse to believe that Dean have so much more fate with K.
Guess what man? I bumped onto my awesome hunk/cuteboy dragonboater, K at Great World City, today!
-jumps for joy, throws confetti-
Yesyes, i know out of all places, plus i was looking so shagged since i just finished Yoga not too long ago.
So so cute, but why oh why did he turn so tanned/char out of a sudden?
He made my day still, at least for a moment my lethargic self became zilch.
& i tell you, this bitch from Island Creamery's take away store enraged me, totally ruined Island's image.
Bitchbitchbitch,screwyouuuuuu!

I'm tired.
Tired of always making decisions.
Tired of always trying to be always so cheery infront of you.
Tired of your moodswings, when you're a guy.
Tired of you always trying to fool me in which at times isn't funny at all.
Tired of always asking you questions, yet you're able to get away with it.
Tired of always having them unanswered.

Tired of making myself part of this elite society.
Tired of trying so hard to fit in, in everything i do/go to.
Tired that i'm always failing/ struggling in education.
Tired of the predictable cycle in RP.

Tired of the shit at home.
Tired of becoming the punching bag of my parents.
Tired that the brother still treats me like his baby sister, to the extent i'm so submissive to the things he say.
Tired of mom failing to understand my needs.
Tired of dad being too rigid towards everything.
Tired of attempting in making my parents proud, being as successful as my siblings.

Tired that everytime i make the first move in everything i do.
Friendship, schoolwork, relationship, conversing with strangers/new friends.
Tired that the efforts i put in do not tally with the final outcome.
Tired of helping others when i can barely help myself out.

Tired of growing up to this challenging backstabbing society.
Tired of how the older i get, the more i am able to see things beyond my naked eye.
Tired of how judgemental i am towards things/people.
Tired of being misjudged as being pretentious.
Tired on how people don't take the things i do/say seriously.

I'm extremely tired towards these tough adversities.
I'm extremely tired of putting on a facade.
I'm extremely tired of my pessimistic self.
I'm extremely tired of failing to get my emotions across properly, cause i suck at languages.

Tomorrow's the last day of Semestral Term One, which marks the last day i'll be sharing my knowledge quest with W15H.
I'd be lying to myself & the world if i were to say i wouldn't miss the class.
Cause afterall, you guys are the ones who started my life in this screwed up tertiary institution & my source of assurance in making mundane lessons full of hype & contentment.
As much as your puerile acts and two faced personality irks me at times, there's other things that makes me love you so (:
Although till now i wish some of you can just level up your maturity, it doesn't really matter since i;ve beared with it for long, ha!
Thank you for the adventerous 5 months journey man.
I can't wait for the class chalet cause i know we'll get drunk+wasted, spend quality time together & be bonded even stronger (:
I'm confident in saying 3 of you would be the ones that'll stick with me for long, despite this separation.
You taught me alot, you allowed me to move out of my comfort zone with much ease.

I'm anxious still in knowing how my new classmtes be like.
But i know i'll accept it well cause i come to a new school to make more new friends, to be aware of this outside world, to share experiences & knowledge, to be resourceful & to put my bitching skills to full use.
Bring it on mannnnnnn! 

Current Mood:

good

CWP Cathay has such uncomfortable seats, esp if you're allocated somewhere near the front.
Its so annoying to constantly shift my position whilst watching Rush hour 3 cause i can never find my comfort zone.
Gahhh! 
W15H, lesson learnt - no more impromptu movie sessions, esp since its CWP Cathay Cineplex.
Needless to say, the movie was funny shit.
Think i over-project my laughter, but well .. That's the reaction if you put Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker together.

Anyhoos,  SA Bands In Presentation Night on Saturday was great.
Am so proud of Rifqi! (:
The saturday was great cause it was of dysfunctional Nano, indecisive & futile shopping trip, 10 mins worth of queue donuts, Manhattan Fish Market madnes & the concert itself! (:


Handsome handsome cornet player! 
Psssst: Taken from his friendster, lol